“Did you play Oregon Trail as a kid?” Lisa asks me.
“YES! Ah man!” I can barely contain my joy! Oregon Trail! A classic part of so many of our childhoods!
How often have I ridden that lonely trail West? In my dreams, will I forever be following that purple sun in to the distant unknown? What rivers must I traverse in the future? Can I sell my wife for some grain? These are the questions that weigh heavy on a weary traveler’s mind…
“Oh yeah! I played some Oregon Trail back in the day! I used to name a couple of the people going on the perilous journey after my enemies, that way if they came down with dysentery, it was great when they would die! Like, ‘Oh, sorry girl who was mean to me today in gym class, but I brought a lawyer with us instead of a doctor! Make your peace with The Force. I’m going to go hunt some Buffalo!’
“And I’d always bring a gun, and a bunch of ammunition because it was the leader’s job to protect the others from starvation and robbers. Conservation always weighed heavy on my mind.
"The deer would go too fast, and Buffalo would always go to waste.
"If only it wasn’t always surplus or famine, friends!
"Always either too much, or too little!
So many good people lost trying to make a better life for themselves. My emotions run high with the memory of old friends never again to be seen in this world. Those pilgrims were truly courageous, American warriors.”
“Yeah,” Lisa says, “It’s almost as much fun as you remember it being. But not.”
“Oh. Cool.”
